Yeah, I know, maybe I only feel outside and really am inside. I dunno. The feeling is convincing right now tho.

I could try to tell a couple of folk at church how I feel, but I feel guilty bothering them, you know?

I know it is OK not to go to church. The problem I have is that part of me wants to go and part of me is too scared to. I'm also scared that if I miss a week I will stop going again; it's taken me a long time to start going...
I think you may be right aobbut my mind going at a different speed to the speed of my body tho. That makes a lot of sense. Gonna slow my mind down with some chemicals (legal ones!) now and try to sleep.

Thank you for the positive thoughts
C