Thank you Sanityseeker, what you wrote made my eyes leak. thank you. I am afraid that in the past several days I have not been of that much support here. Just a little bit. Although I was able to help one on one. I was just writing at another website forum that the word psychotherapist can be seperated into three words which sadly describes my experience way too often of them. Not all are like this. But its my murphys law. The three words are psycho-the-rapist psychotherapist. Personlly my mind all too often does feel raped when I trust and get so hurt by them. I know this is my karma and not that of many people. I am grateful for each story I hear of people who are being helped by their therapist. But I tried again to trust and bond with one. And got very hurt yet again. Thank you again for hearing me. I am so sorry that you understand what I mean. I wish that no one else had these expereinces with them. And I thought I was barely hanging on before this happened today....... I left a phone message for her wishing her well, cancelling the next week apt and sending her blessings. That was the cleanest way I could wrap things up. Then I took two klonapin and two benedryl and tried to sleep, to no avail. Thank you again for hearing me. Did you ever notice how the words hearing and healing are so similar?