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Hello iceprincex,
Welcome to PC. I Hope that you eventually feel safe enough to ask for our help and support. It's not really a matter of getting something for free; more a matter of trying to face what you are going through and trying to come out of that at the other end with a positive change.
Perna's advice is sound as usual and If she answers your posts you will see what I mean,
Rhiannon
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Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you
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