((((((((((zoo)))))))))))

I'm sorry I didn't see this thread before now. I can relate so very much to the way you feel. I also need others to tell me I'm okay. I'm learning how to feel better about myself, but I still need that outside validation, especially from my T. I wish you hadn't waited so long to call her to hear it from your T, and I'm so happy for you that she responded the way you wanted. I know that just those words "we're okay" would be enough to make the difference between despair and hope, misery and peace.

About that whirhpool of thoughts and emotions you were in: I'm obsessive too, and my thoughts go round and round about therapy and about myself. In her email to me this week, T told me to try just to notice the thoughts when that happens, like we do with breathing and she wants me to concentrate on my breath. She said I can notice those thoughts, but I don't have to give them so much power. They are just thoughts. I can say "they are there" but then let them go. I don't know if that will help you are not.

I hope the peace and calm you got from hearing your Ts reassuring voice and words will stay with you until you see her again.