TTBM, I am so sorry that you have been left wwith these feelings. I know form others that one can really feel cut off at the roots when ne's parents disown one. Trying to establish your identity without your family can be very hard.

Don't try to do everything all at once. when you don't fell well, it's easy to lose sight of how to break down each thing that has to be done into smally, easy to do parts. Try to do that with everything that seems like too much. And don't worry about getting it done perfectly. Some things just need to be done.

Hang in there, hon. It will get better. Right now, you just have to find away for the wonds to heal, and it doesn't sound like the folks were helping you out much with that. I know that doesn't always make things easier to know that, but anyway. HUGGGGGSSSS and a quiet hand on your head to try to stop the screaming.