Back in with my old friend again Ms Depression... She wont leave me alone

I was at my GP's today and I am awaiting an app from Psychiatry. I SI the other night and feel 1 million times better telling my GP. I thought she would be angry and or disappointed in me but she wasn't she was really nice to me. I have to go back in 2 weeks or if I am feeling really bad then less than the 2 weeks.

She asked me what I did etc. She gave me more techniques to help NOT doing SI. I don't know why I do it though. I told 1 of my friends and she said she was not angry at me she was just disappointed in me that it had to go that far. I feel really embarrassed and silly now.

Why can't I just not do things like that??