Quote:
Originally Posted by Medicated
I'm struggling to accept my new Bipolar I diagnosis. I'd been Bipolar II for a few years, but I had always thought that I was somehow immune to true mania and psychotic symptoms. Not so.
Not that labels mean much, but it means that my disease is more serious and more dangerous than previously thought.
Naturally, I'm in denial. I keep trying to convince myself that what I experienced last weekend didn't actually happen, but some memories are too vivid to forget. As manias go, it was mild, but terrifying just the same. I am grateful that although I was suffering illusions and hallucinations, I did not become delusional to the point of needing hospitalization.
So, I guess this is the new me. I've received my club card. Got my sticker. Earned my merit badge. Now I know, without a doubt, that I really am bipolar (I), and that's a tough pill for me to swallow.
I feel so... broken... defective... inferior, etc.  |
Lets all get past this idea that BP1 is more severe/dangerous etc than BP2... they are labelled differently because there are differences in the patterns and types of episodes and also possible differences in response to medications... however the differences within each "type" are huge - so there are more severe and less severe forms of BP but its not nice and neat, across all forms of mood disorders - BP 1, 2, NOS, unipolar etc there are severe and more mild forms... *end rant*
Medicated: I'm really sorry to hear that you have had to go through all this and that it is making you feel so bad. It's always scary when the BP throws a new twist and turn at you... I hope that they can find meds that help to control this for you. Please don't take my rant personally - its just a pet hate of mine (having a severe case of BP2)...