Hi Unico,
I understand what your going thou. Somehow, Has painful as it is you need to put that behind you and move on. Even if it means to have no contact with whomever was involved. I had disconnected completely from some family members for years in order to give my kids a better life. The past will only destroy you. If you let it. Think of yourself first and the people in your life that truly love you. Take what ever med for now that makes it easier to deal with, But in all reality you are the one that needs to control the hurt. People that do evil things to you are not people you need in your life. Hope this helps a little. I have just recently started having anxiety attacks in the past 4 months. Never before had i ever had one. It is a very hard thing to deal with. Iam not a person to take any meds. But i had no choice but to seek help and be put on paxil. I dont if this is the answer but iam doing it for now. Just try to dump the extra baggage. Hope this helps you..