Hi Thatgirl,
Yeah, I think you're headed towards a very serious addiction problem.
Can you seek counseling for this before it gets worst? It sounds to me like you may be in the beginning stages of it so it may be easier to nip it in the bud if you handle this with a professional, immediately or as soon as possible.
I'm definetly no expert on drug addiction but I feel it's a good thing that you're honest with yourself about it to be concerned. I think that's a very good sign.
Please, seek counseling. I'm sure others with more experience can offer you better advice but I wanted to commend you on your self honesty and bravery.
(((((((((((thatgirl)))))))))))