wednsday (how ever ya spell it) i woke up feeling a little down. Went to work feeling good about going in on a school day and helping out. Got to work with my fav coworker Kate. But as the day went on the day got blacker.

Thursday: woke up feeling sad. about what? i dont know. Went to work. This little voice in my head ur too slow ur too slow. GO FASTER. ur not doing it right, ur no good. ur a slow worker. u should be fired. My boss tried to tell me i wasnt slow . I just had alot of rooms. I went home feeling not too good. that stupid voice.

Friday: went to work i felt terrible. First thing we got, a written up paper and my boss tired of the crap work we were doing.. she gave a compliment to me saying that i worked her less and was doing better than the ones who worked here longer. so in return i worked slower cause i dont want to be written up and forget anything. which i did a laundry bag. my boss joked sayin she is but it just freaked me out more. at the end of the day she came up to me and tried to joke about the written up part again and i shrugged from her. She asked if something was wrong. I said that i feel like there is a black cloud following me. my boss said are u sick. I said i feel like the world is comming to an end. And that i wanted to die. She then tried to comfort me. Not every day ur boss hugs ya and tries to cheer u up. she did not want me to drive home. I actually planed to drive my car off the bridge. instead i drove home and slept.

today saturday: i went to work with cuts on my arms and when i got there i took a pin and without them knowing i jabbed it into my vein.. no one knoticed. good thing.. my boss asked me how i was today. i told her i feel like crap but better than yesterday. She asked me if i wanted to go home. i said no i rather work. So i worked. She kept a eye on me the whole day.. Anything sharp in my possession she kept away from me. So i take it she saw my cuts.

I felt at ease that she actually cared. Not every boss is like her.. Most say if ur mentally ill ur fired. I feel lucky to work for her.. I feel alot better.. My mood is going up... Now i want to keep it up... Hope i can..