Are there just some parts of your personality that are so deep that they can't be changed? A couple of years ago I came upon some of my report cards from preschool (4 years old). One phrase on it I remember was "watcher not a joiner." To paraphrase the rest it basically said despite their best efforts they could not get me to join social groups. I'm now 27 and absolutely nothing has changed. I am completely incapable to join groups. Now, I can interact with people one on one and in small, controlled groups, but when people want to go out I can't handle it. I don't feel comfortable at bars, I don't like parties, I can not handle dancing (even writing the word makes me jittery). I'm a new graduate student and that's what people want to do, it's what they enjoy. I just can't do it and it makes me feel absolutely awful. Once again I'm a misfit, and I don't think it's ever going to change.

You know what's really funny about this is public speaking is no problem. Performing in front of people isn't a problem either. I'm going to be teaching some classes in a couple of weeks and it's not making me nervous at all, actually I'm looking forward to it. All it is is interacting socially.

Is it hopeless? It sure seems that way.