You stopped at 40 - so, even though you are not letting those 40 heal yet, you did stop at 40. Maybe now set yourself a 40 hour time line for letting them heal? In this desert, there are dark temptations but also angels who take care of us.

I've been missing originalT all week, ended up leaving him a VM last night (after happy hour, ahem) at his new office, asking for an appt. My inner teenager - home to all the intense feelings - really needs to get it all out with him. I think that Tree is right - talking about the pain of the parting is what I'm avoiding, talking about how much I loved him is so embarrassing (You see, I love this guy who is not my husband....)
There is that super tender needy place inside you and me that truly loves the T and does not want to separate from the T, even though our adult selves understand that this is part of life. I'm seriously trying to figure out what to do for this needy one inside me, what will help her -- what is possible vs. what she really wants.

SO sorry to hear about the cancellation!!!!
Getting to Monday: Lots of friends. Movies. Walks. Movies on TV. Naps. Grocery store and make a fun dinner. Love yourself