Hi PinkPony,

I've been in counseling twice. The first counseling relationship I was in was quite intense, and like you, I generally went 3-5 days per week. Everyone is different, and every situation is different. There were problems. As you mention, it is extremely expensive to see a counselor that often. That was a huge problem. And even though I had significant issues to work on, I think it wasn't healthy for me or the counselor to see each other that often. I became too reliant on him, I think. Also, he was having problems in his personal life. I don't think he was a healthy counselor. This is probably not the case with your counselor, but I think he wasn't running a good practice. I didn't realize it at the time, but it was a very unhealthy counseling relationship. It ended very suddenly and very badly, without any referrals, and in an unethical fashion. And because I had been seeing him at such an intense level, basically five days a week, I think it was even worse than it would have been in another circumstance, although that kind of ending would be bad anyway.

It took me ten years to try counseling again, but under much different circumstances. I was very careful about the counselor I chose the next time - a counselor who worked in a group practice, and I made sure he himself checked in with supervision and didn't work solo as the previous counselor had done. I never allowed myself to get so reliant. We met once or twice a week. There were a couple of crises when we met three times a week in one week over the course of time, but that was rare. When he moved away, it was very hard indeed as we had a good, productive, and very healthy working relationship, but it was survivable. He also told me in advance that he was going to leave, and we had the chance to work through that difficult situation together. This was much healthier. To me, at least, working on a less frequent basis, although at times challenging, was the healthier way to go.

I would say even if one chooses to work at a more intense level at times, it may be healthier to move towards less frequent sessions as a goal, maybe once or twice a week or less, from my experience and also the experiences of other people I know. Of course this may not be true for everyone, but this seems to be generally the case. And as you mentioned and as I know, the expense of it all is a true reality and does need to be considered too. That's a very important consideration.

Wishing you well,
ErinBear