Aug 20, 2010 at 06:13 PM
(It's a shame that not many people post here  )
How did you know (or have an idea) that you were dependent?
I didn't know there was a disorder for that... I just figured that I was over-dependent because I had an overprotective mother.
All the relationships that I was comfortable in had a control dynamic. I was happy. I find it hard to stay in a relationship when I'm not being given attention a lot and if someone else passes along that can give me attention and control. Stability. I needed it, craved it. It drive me nuts. I do the pushing away but at the same time I can't stand being alone, even if I try to play it off.
In my head, I can take "relationships take work" to a whole nother level. It's more than work. I deal, and eventually what they like is what I'll like. I can internalize until a breaking point or I get over it. (I wish I had that "get over it" mentality with depression.)
Anyway, I'm not comfortable outside of a relationship, nor am I if I can't depend on my SO to make decisions for me. If I can serve them and they can take care of me, I'm happy.
In my mind, I can't understand why this is so bad. When I'm alone, it is bad. That I feel stuck in my home with my mother (that's for multiple reasons, however) is bad. That I understand.
But I feel I'm starting to understand the whole "battered wives" thing. Not because I'm being abused, but because I understand now the feeling of not being able to leave.
__________________
Asmodeus
"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." -Bertrand Russell "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Albert Einstein "Reality continues to ruin my life." -Bill Watterson
Let's make a wish Easy one That you are not the only one And someone's there next to you holding your hand Make a wish You'll be fine Nothing's gonna let you down Someone's there next to you holding you Along the paths you walk
Last edited by AngelAsmodeus; Aug 20, 2010 at 06:27 PM..
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