Savvy, I too am sorry your husband is away so much, since it is sad for you. A lot of what people say can be taken different ways; I would work on how I "hear" what is said to me and try to feel good about it. When you wrote your example, "he feels depressed sometimes too" I thought it was sweet that he was trying to identify with you, kind of patting you on the shoulder and say, "there, there, it will be all right in the end".

I don't know that you can change how other people operate, they've got their own baggage they're coming from and that's how they think and relate, just like you have how you think and relate. You can only change your own thinking and way of seeing things if you want, not really someone else's.

What would you like to hear from your husband? You could tell him to say that? But that would come from you and be about you, not from him? Wouldn't be the same I don't think. Or ask him not to talk about how sad or depressed he is but, again, that would cut off free communication?

Have you seen a doctor for your depression and are you seeing a therapist? Being able to talk to a professional can often help take some of the pressure off our loved ones.