I would discuss your concerns with teachers and other adults your children know/work with (sports coaches, group leaders, etc.) and listen to complaints from your kids. I think it use to be harder when we were kids because there were less options and parents weren't as educated so our own childish complaints were "heard" differently. It could be that you are being over-sensitive in the same way (I'm not saying you are, just pointing out that it's easy to see what we experience in the experience of others when it's not necessarily there). When your children get old enough to understand what school is all about, ask them what you could do to "help" or if they would like help with reading, writing, organization, etc. Sometimes just a little attention from another direction helps (did me in 9th grade, my mother got a "tutor" for me for French and that older girl coming once a week did wonders in many aspects of my life).