Thanks allthegirls for you understanding and support. It is difficult to accept certain things, but we must accept them nonetheless.

This administrator knows that I want to be friends with him. I post on his forums about my feelings for him a lot and I'm sure he reads at least some of them. Sometimes I think that I might be scaring him, but then other people say that I don't have the power to do that.

The truth is, he probably doesn't see me as being that different from all the other posters. He probably doesn't have any issues with me at all. Maybe he doesn't even notice me much.

I think maybe he understands. I explain a lot of things about this in my posts about him. Also, he is a p-doc, so maybe he is used to this sort of thing. He's also been an administrator for a long time, so maybe he's seen it all and isn't freaked out by me.

I hope he isn't freaked out. I don't think he is because I sent him an e-mail asking him if I could help him present his topic at the next American Psychiatric Association meeting in Toronto and he said yes! He wants to set up small groups with people from Psycho-Babble to present their experiences with the support forum.

If he is OK with meeting me in person, then he probably isn't that freaked out. I'm really harmless...maybe a tad obsessed at times, but harmless.