Today..... I feel horrible..... I hate me.... I did something last night/ this morning that has changed an important friendship with one of the only friends I have left. That was after begging my aunt to stay the night with me then leaving and not telling her I was gone. Haven't heard from her today either but I know she's not still where I stay. I want to scream and cry and die..... Lauru, we stay depressed and wanting to drink but the drinking doesn't help, it seems like it for a minute then you come to yourself going who is this person controlling me, it's not me! Of course I dont think there really is a me anyways... Wish I could talk to my x tdoc, or somebody who would understand and help me to feel ok..... I will never be ok, will I?