Hunny -that is VERY interesting! Not sure I could do it when it happens because I think it is real at the time. I guess I just don't know what is real sometimes when I am dissociating. I sent this post to T - he wrote back that it sounds dissociative.

It really sucks that for some of us we are always on defense with life. And the ones we turn to who we need to have help us, our minds pick up on the smallest things in tone or inflection that end up setting off all defenses. I can't describe how tired I am of living that type of a life. Someone once told me that meditation was a type of dissociation. Who knows, maybe I will stop doing anything with therapy at all and just go sit in a dang corner and meditate my mind into a well of zero thought. Come to think of it, that sounds like a good idea. Society has no problem with meditation... and the vow of total silence is also sounding like a good plan of action while I am at it.