Lone: I dont know so much that it's messed up, just different. I do not adapt to change well but either way I have as yet to determine whether its a good, bad, or just uncomfortable change either. I also have a problem with not knowing things and wondering about them. I always feel like I have to know everything and if I dont know something it will drive me completely insane with worry and I start having bad anxiety attacks and such....

As to my aunt or even any member of my family or small circle of friends everybody knows something is wrong with me, I have never tried to hide it, everybody knows I get put in Crisis Stabilization quite regular for attempts but my family is just as crazy as I am and does not recognize that its a "dx" or anything like that. They just think well thats Denise or else they do recognize I'm dx'd and don't care enough to learn about it or help me or anything.

Or like my mom thinks I should just be able to "be ok" and do what I'm supposed to do because thats what she does. She has actually told me before to please go ahead and kill myself.

None of my family has ever entered the mental health world other than me and my mom and she only for occasional therapy. My aunt, besides no knowing what she may be dx'd with if ever eval'd, I do know that she is either an ex-crank addict or she just uses a lot less than she used to as well as being an alcoholic. I'm sure she will get over it, it just hurts me when I feel Like I have hurt someone else..