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Old Aug 22, 2010, 03:11 PM
Missquestions Missquestions is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: DC
Posts: 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gr3tta View Post
Hi Missquestions! My girlfriend has bipolar and generalized anxiety, and I have mental health challenges of my own.
I want to respond to you saying this: "I think he can control how he reacted towards me" Your boyfriend should be responsible for his actions and his words. However, there are going to be times, possibly many times, when he is not going to be in complete control of his emotions. He may feel aggitated, irritable, sad, nervous, despondant, worried, or paranoid, and it is in fact a symptom of his mental illness. He cannot control that any more than someone with bronchitis can control their coughing. Having said that, this does not mean that he can be rude, dismissive, or abusive to you and sidestep responsibility. The two of you will need to work together to determine the best ways for you to be able to support him when he is having a bad day, while still getting your own needs met. Also, do keep in mind that arguments and problems in the relationship may have absolutely nothing to do with his mental health. They may just be the normal bumps in the road that all couples have. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that all your troubles lie in his mental illnesses, or your inexperience in coping with them.
Mental health problems can definitely create added challenges in a romantic relationship, but they can certainly be overcome when both partners are working at it. I wish you all the best, and hope you will keep us updated!

Hi,

You are right that he is in control with what he says to me, but at the same time I feel that he needs to have better self control over that. It's always something he says to hurt me then will say sorry after wards. Sometimes it might get ot the point where it might be hard to take something back that has been said or done. I am trying to work with him but this seems like an everyday matter and I feel like I am walking on thin ice and egg shells. Watching what I do and say so i won't make him crack. I am trying to battle through these challenges but we argue all the time, there is a difference between health arguments and unhealthy ones. I've noticed now that I am very irritable now and that i get angry and more and more angry with him and it's something I used to have a problem with and I am not trying to repeat the person I used to be , which is to get angry very easily and blow up but it seems all these symptoms are coming back to me and that every time we argue its more and more intense.