I recently entered into a relationship after dating long distance with someone whom I have known for 28 years. They say that you never really know someone until you live with them. He moved 1200 miles to live with me, a trial run if you will, until my lease expires. When we arrived at the airport, it was like someone threw a switch and he refuses to communicate, is moody and contrary, feels that any psychiatric diagnosis is just an excuse.
We were having lunch the other day and I tried sharing with him a very neutral, humorous story. He interrupted and said, "More eating, less talking". I got up, took my plate to my room and closed the door.
He is smoking pot from sunrise to sunset and then some more before bed. He is impossible to deal with when he runs out and has asked me to take some extreme risks to ensure he has a ready supply. He ran out this morning and his anger, always there but just under the surface, is starting to rear its ugly head.
Regarding the relationship, he immediately moved into the second bedroom and there is no intimacy. He says he feels no attraction to me and that he never loved me. WHY DID HE BOTHER, WHY ALL THE LIES TO PUT US BOTH INTO A BAD SITUATION? He resents anything that I ask him to do, although I laid out my few needs before he moved in. I offered to send him back to whence he came yet he refuses, claiming he wants to work on "it" whatever on earth "it" is.
So, I stay in my bedroom, going to the kitchen or living room only when absolutely necessary. Not isolating is part of my recovery but right now, I am dependent upon him for transportation and its not worth the argument to have my needs met.
I am so frustrated, angry, hurt, betrayed and so very lonely. I feel very stuck and am counting the days until the lease expires so I can get away from him and find a supportive, loving environment; regardless of whether that entails a relationship or not. At this point, I would welcome a hamster as my roommate. It would be far superior to what I am dealing with.
ACKKKK! Any suggestions out there are welcome.
ptk