Hi fool007 - welcome to PC. Does your partner know you were pursuing a relationship with the woman in Germany? I also want to know if your partners husband provided financial support to his wife and the raising of his children. I think you're correct - you have settled into an unfortunate partnership.

I see two issues here - I think you're involved in a co-dependent relationship and you seem to be attracted to women who are needy and still attached. I'm not sure if you find this exciting or if you see yourself as the 'rescuer type'. Both these women are needy.

I agree you should plan to separate from your current partner. She should be fine and her sons can help her out. You need to stay away from women who are still attached to their previous partners. You also need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. The fact you don't have a partner/soul mate doesn't mean you're pathetic. When you're in a peaceful place, make a list of what you want from a relationship.