I am but a frog of little brain, but seek professional help.
Since I don't know the medical system of the country you are in I don't exactly who you see. I have no medical or psychological background, lousy typing and spelling skills but with years of coping and not coping with depression.
Don't look to your family, make it happen yourself.
Post and post and post here on PC. Express your feelings, rant, cry. We all understand your feelings and tears.
Here these may help slightly
and remember,
we all care.