I do actually manage to be friends well with men, if anything I may even get along with men better than with women, as ironic as it is. It's just when it hints towards more than that, I panic. It's a major trigger for me. I'll be off in the other direction. I do get uncomfortable being alone with them too, even one of my very good male friends, one of the most decent people you could ever meet. I don't like him as anything more than a friend though, although when we rarely saw each other I did. He sometimes does things like brush my hair out of my face or fix my clothes for me. I don't want to be touched, and I feel stupid for it. The feeling I get is of feeling both disgusted and disgusting. I think the DISGUSTING feeling stems from my mothers promiscuity, if you remember the thread I made in the abuse forum a while back.