((((((((tree)))))))))
I'm sorry your T isn't here to support you when you need him. That is really, really hard. I think it is so great that you were willing and able to talk about the CSA with this woman, even despite your T being gone. I think there was probably a time not too long ago where the idea of disclosing in that situation would have been unthinkable to you. I know it's scary and you were obviously triggered and I'm SO sorry about that, and at the same time I think this is a wonderful sign of how much you have healed, how much you ARE healing.

I love you, tree, and everything really will be ok. I know it hurts that your T isn't here now but he is still out there, and he still loves and believes in you. You will see him on Thursday, the day after tomorrow. You can get through this, tree. You are amazing.