I really have had a bad night. Just cried and cried. I feel so lost. and very very lonely. I feel like giving up because I dont seem to be moving forward,. Im tired of having so much emotional pain. I have no family to speak of as I was orphaned from the age of 17 and my past is tragic. I have tried to do things the best I can but cant form relationships with the oppsite sex. The worst thing is when people look at me in shock when I say i am single and tell me I am attractive. Looks have nothing to do with it. I am lonely and 40 + i just need a break and I dont know if it will ever come,. But right now I feel bleak. I have so much love to give but cant find the partner to give it to. Sick and tired of the secret , the philosphies the yoga the meditation, I just want to know why I have to be so alone. this is not a pity party I am very strong I have travelled the world and done so many things but I have no one and I ann sooooo tired just need a break not a pill or more therapy just need human warmth and to give and recieve love, people say love yourself and I try but I know that I cant do this by myself anymore. I wish I had someone to love and who could love me.