I am more open minded when it comes to the friends I have yes. I tend to not judge, I take people for who they are. I would always be understanding of someone who is going through a particularly hard time in their life. I would say I do like other things about them. I steer clear of some topics because I know they can be opinionated at times.

I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t take this news lightly at all. I don’t want to be forced into anything by the people I tell. I don’t want to feel rushed or as though it’s my SI or friendship. I’m just overall scared they’ll walk away if they know. On the other hand the guilt I feel for not telling them is building up and ruining relationships.

The shame is just terrible. That is what I’m ultimately working towards being able to tell myself but right now I’m just not there yet. I don’t love myself, that’s one of my biggest issues.