Hi everyone.
currently mum of a four and half year old girl, and 12 week old baby. when he was 5 weeks after the mania of excitement, depression hit me with not being able to continure feeding myself, was using alcohol, as was so anxious rapid racing. (have a history of alcohol/ drug abuse and drinking has been to a devastating point).
however since being a child have never felt normal, and always been emotionlally unstable.last 3 weeks been in a psych ward as my last drink led me to near suicide attempt, though thoughts concurrent. been commenced on lithium, rispiridone and fluoxetine.
my history indicates bipolar, think the alcohol was self medicating my emotions
i am rapid racing today between depressive thoughts to optimistic thoughts. no energy to energy, not talking to being over talkative, its doing my head in really is, and alcohol aint the option as it will destroy everything.
want it to stop. when i feel good it good, when i feel bad it torture, i wish my mind would just slow down or stop.x