((((SAWE))))

For me what helped is the idea "love the sinner, hate the sin".

It is ok to be angry about what was done to you, but just hating the person does not solve anything. It is much like dealing with an alcoholic -- you know they are 'sick' and not always making good choices, but you still love them as a person and want them to get better.

Your parents may never 'get better', but those two ideas helped me the most when it came to the seeming contradiction of loving and being angry at the same time.

Most of all, be kind to yourself as you try to figure this all out.