Thank you so much all of you. Honestly I broke down crying when I read those two posts, it's nice to know that other people don't think I'm crazy. I just wish I could make everyone in my life realize that I wasn't making this stuff up, including my ex..

it seems to be she is the only one that doesn't realize that this is beyond my control. I don't know if she will ever see that I couldn't help it whether I wanted to or not. But I don't think she will ever realize it. Her mother raised her so that she is very independant, and her father wasn't really in the picture. I mean he was every day, just not the right kind of father figure. Her family doesn't talk about issues. They were raised not to be weak, if your weak, your worthless. And instead of dealing with it they all go behind their own backs and talk trash about each other. She use to be very affectionate and now she isn't. She was just raised very differently. And my wife has her own issues but will never admit them. She'd rather sit on the feelings and let them drown her in misery. Her mother was bipolar and tried commiting suicide twice, then decided to openly cheat on her father to end the marriage, so she has her own issues that she needs to deal with. I've offered marriage consueling, anger managment, or just plain therapy for us but she doesn't want any part of it. Her theory is that "why do i need someone to tell me what i already know?" and it is EXTREMELY frustrating. But maybe its for the best that we are seperated. Everyday since we got together we have just gotten farther and farther apart. It kills me to say that...And it does feel like I'm being hit with 2x4's because she is changing into this completely different person that I never knew. And it kills me, it literally crushes me inside. But what can I do? I can't force her to stay. There is alot i need to talk about with a p-doc but this is my main issue is recently being diagnosed and having my wife leave me at the same time. Feels like life is just kicking me while I'm down.