I feel exhausted.
Depression (I guess) has this effect on me.
I am pushing forward... Yesterday I was able to clean out my office.
Today I am like a slug. I just can't move. I know I'd feel better if I took a walk or something but the idea of it makes me feel nauseous. Maybe just a small walk. My therapist is retiring. Tomorrow is our last session. I am so bummed out. And so pissed off. Things were going so well with her. I mean, I know change is good. But I was actually getting somewhere with her and beginning to feel better. In some ways I hate my life. I get so mad at myself that I just can't snap out of this. What is my problem?? All I can seem to do is sit with my head in my hands. When I try to give myself "a talking to" I just feel worse. Its like my whole body is in rebellion and I'm just so sick of it. Three years is enough for depression to steal from me.
I saw a new therapist today. I don't know. I don't know if I like her or I don't. I should probably give her a chance. Whatever.