I feel like I'm stuck in the grief process. And I'm back to the anger stage. I really thought that I had accepted my diagnosis and that there was nothing that was going to make it go away. But I am just so angry. And there is no one for me to be angry at. Except myself. It's my stupid body that can't work right. It's my stupid body that causes me to be excluded from social activities that involve food (which is pretty much all of them). Even when I tell my friends to include me, even if I wont be able to eat anything. It's my stupid body that can't eat most of the food at the grocery store. I walked into the small store at school and was overwhelmed by a sense of depression knowing that I couldn't eat my favorite foods. And never will be able to again. Didn't I have enough problems in my life without this?

Getting told by professors that "catering to the dietary needs of all the different students is just too complicated" Well I'm sorry, my dietary need is covered by the ADA. And I didn't ask for much. Only where you were ordering from and what you were ordering. Is that too much to ask. I wasn't asking you to change your order. Just wanting to find out if there would be anything I could eat.

Every time I travel (which is hardly ever anymore) I'm terrified of getting sick. I'm terrified of going on a trip to a conference that is 11 hours away by car and not being able to get back because I've gotten sick.

I hate this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate that I have to think about everything that could conceivably end up in my mouth (moisturizer, sunscreen, shampoo, soap, etc.)

I thought it would be easier knowing what was wrong the many months that I waited for all the testing to be done. Because then I wouldn't have to guess anymore. But now I just want to scream. But there is no one to hear me.

I have nightmares about accidentally ingesting the wrong food. Or more tantalizing dreams where some favorite food I can eat again. But then I wake up and am back to my reality.