Good morning. Looking for some insight/support on how to disengage from my current addictive relationship. I tried the chat room for the first time today but it was a little confusing. Five people talking at once about different topics! So, maybe this is a better way to get some feedback?

I am sober for over a year now. I have been diagnosed with borderline PD and general anxiety, in April. I am working, financially independent, single and forty. Anyway, this is my third time getting sober since I was 24. Every time I have gotten into an addictive relationship with the sickest guy in the room. This fits my borderline diagnosis to a T.

This time getting sober, I picked a guy whom I instantly felt attracted to, and then fell in love with him, despite all the warning signs. My only salvation was that I was going to codependents anonymous on a regular basis last year which kept me from getting completely enmeshed.

This summer I moved into the big city to become more involved in AA and the sober social scene. Good intentions, bad results. Because I started dating the same guy again after nine months of celibacy. We dated at first in private at my insistence in order to avoid the drama that developed in public last year. after 4 weeks, it was going well, and somehow someone got his phone and saw my texts. so, it became public knowledge to our social group in aa.

of course, it went downhill from there. he became very controlling and jealous and insecure, just like last year. so, after 4 more weeks of drama, we broke up. but, i can't let go. we got back together in private for another two weeks and it was escalating for both of us. i know i am sick and need to let go and walk away. but it is hard because this guy is a central fixture at my night meeting and coffee house, which used to be my main social scene.

this summer, he slandered me pretty badly after our break up, and has threatened me and become malicious. so, i know that i need to stay away from the meeting and the coffee house as well. trouble is, that is the main sober scene here in my town. and i work night shift and the coffee house is open 24 hours, the only one like that. so, i feel deprived.

but, it is my kharma for dating him again, right? i have been going to other meetings and working at developing a new social group inside of AA. so, i am doing the next right thing.

we are currently on a two day break, mutually agreed upon. now it is day three and i am concerned, both about me texting him and visa versa. thanks to this forum and website, i have been feeling alot stronger about keeping my actions in accordance with my intentions this time.

thanks for the support and whatever feedback you can provide.