Money is very personal, has a lot of baggage and emotions attached to it usually. Who makes more in a relationship can be important, my husband automatically feels he can spend more because he makes more. "Theoretically" that is true and I did live alone on my own income for 13 years so know I can support myself but. . .

I think you need a discussion of how you two want to spend money. We have a shared pot and either of us use either of our credit cards to pay for eating out or groceries or shopping but, generally, if I'm with my husband I just let him pay (unless he's being a slow poke eating and then sometimes I'll pay just to have something to do while he's finishing eating :-) The only really separate things I feel I have are my credit card purchases online. Most of them are for my projects, websites, genealogy stuff and I kind of think of my husband as paying for our large recreation needs like our RV, boat, etc.

I would do a loose budget, decide on how much you should "contribute" and have part of that contribution be in credit card purchases/payments? Then, just keep track of how much you're spending, as you normally would and when you get to your limit, you just say you're at "your" limit (which means you can't buy anymore, NOT that he should buy what you want :-)

There is no "should" anymore about who pays. But one does have to have some sort of agreement or ongoing conversation with a SO or there can be a painful discussion mess later.