I suppose that's part of the problem... It keeps getting harder and harder to tell. These things pop into my head and they seem SO real sometimes. But I can't imagine how I would forget those sorts of things and can think of all sorts of reasons why they can't be real. Does that make sense?

There are things that I KNOW happened.. that I do remember. But there are gaps and also an ever present sense that something really horrible is hiding somewhere in the depths of my mind and I feel like I'm just waiting for it to jump out and attack me. But perhaps that's just the PTSD talking.