Yeah I feel you about putting yucky stuff up. That's exactly what I've been doing lately -- spilling my guts on PC, self-loathing for it. Hey but this is what PC is for. We all come here because we know what it's like to struggle and sometimes fall apart. Anyway I'm trying to say no one here could possibly judge you. zoo, I want to say that I really consider you courageous. I want to know what's going on for you and I want to root for you.