Hi Deli

about "Austin-T".... you have commented on all questions but one? what are your feelings/thoughts on finding another T? You have been with him for a while, but the trust relationship that is so important seems not to be there now, and wow he certainly seems to be very unavailable. Perhaps you need someone not so controlling (sorry, my opinion, memories of schedules he wrote for you etc) and more gentle, and certainly not so absent / out of reach.

I don't have any experience with meds but it does seem that if you increased them on your own, and then simply quit them on your own, you really might not be getting what you need. Please take care of this part first, could you? wishing you great peace.