I think it's going to take a veeeeeeeeeeery long time before I get anywhere through this. It's like a torture for me. One of my friends who used to like me now has a girlfriend, we had a falling out because he is an alcoholic and would always get drunk, but after a year of not talking we are friends again because he has recovered and apologised for what he'd done.

He's got pictures of the two of them together, I cant even look at them. It's the same with other people I know, I don't want to even KNOW about their relationships. I get so depressed and lonely, I feel so rejected and unwanted, just like I always have. I guess that's why it gets me so down, you know? It didn't matter how bad these guys were, what bad things they did, how badly they treated others, how manipulative they were, they were always more important than me, I was always brushed off, or treated like the bad one when I spoke up.
When I finally spoke up about my aunties fiance nobody listened, they said he was a twat, but that I had no right to talk bad about him because 'our family always respects everyones partners' (which is absolute bull-shazizzle, and even in cases where it IS true, they were wrong in supporting that kind of relationship and allowing that kind of treatment to occur). Now because nobody listened when I said 'hey, this guy is no good', my auntie won't give our family the time of day, and they can see his crap too, and how AWFUL that is. They are just LAZY in speaking up, it's one thing I've always hated about my family.

So that's probably part of why I get that feeling of rejection and feeling unwanted when other are in relationships. I'D like to be the important one for once...