So true. Just like in any relationship. And it's not a catastrophe if we have a bad day with someone, it's just a bad day. (This was not easy for me in my marriage, so your wisdom plucks a chord in me, Perna.)

Rainbow, in my first year of therapy with my T, there were times when I would feel very depressed after a session. I might feel OK when I left the office and then it would come crashing down. In those days I had weekly sessions, and this was really important then, because then I didn't have too long to wait for another session and could sometimes tell T our session had made me depressed and we would explore that and after processing it together, I almost always felt better. There were other times when we didn't discuss it next time (I was able to process it on my own) and other times where I brought it up but not for weeks or months later. It sounds like you know why the session was depressing and that puts you in the position where you can discuss it and get right to the issue. (For me, I often would not know why the session depressed me and it took time to unearth it.)

I know my memory is bad, but this is the first time I can remember that you alluded to relationships outside of therapy that had the same pattern as your T relationships. I think that is really important and shows a way to help understand and get beyond the therapy to your outside life. (I have some of what may be a similar pattern myself--choosing people in life who cannot love me.) Perhaps it is a very understandable coping mechanism that you transferred this pattern of seeking out inaccessible people for relationships to your Ts, instead of continuing to bang your head against the wall in real life. Perhaps "seeking" in therapy has allowed you to be more or less "still" in real life and have the longterm relationship that you do with your H.

I think we keep repeating patterns in life because we are attempting to resolve something. Trying again and again. Instead of hating yourself for this, would it help to view it as an inner striving to be healthy and solve your problems?

The work of therapy can be hard and painful. There have been many sessions where I left feeling worse than when I entered.

I think meds are just one more tool, helpful for some people and not for others. You could try meds if you wanted and stop them if they were not helpful. Just like you try EMDR or any other technique.

Would it help to share the article here?