I was wondering if anyone could relate... to having close family members who drive you crazy, but mostly due to things they have said in the past.
I put off talking on the phone to my dad but then have to call him. I know he is trying to be helpful and he even seems to be watching what he is saying. Which I think is nice, but odd and misplaced. He has said so many hurtful things to me in the past while I was growing up... basically that I couldn't do anything right. He always cuts me off while I'm speaking (always has). All of it just makes me cringe every time I talk to him.
During this past conversation he said he hoped I would feel better soon so that I could get on with my life and get a job. But all I heard was "get a job." Like I do not think of this fact 23 out of 24 hours a day?
Then he asked me if my relationship was okay. (This is one area of my life that is actually totally working well). When I said, "Yes, it is great" he was like, "Are you sure? I'm not so sure." What the hell? I know he is probably mulling this over because I became depressed about the same time that I got into a relationship. I just hate how he makes sh** up about me in his own mind (instead of actually listening to me).
Ugh. I know that what he is saying now isn't really all that bad. I am just so triggered by stuff he has said (and done) in the past that I bristle at our conversations. I did the best I could. I was very courteous, I asked him about himself and his wife. I was brief, yet attentive. I just wish my conversations with him didn't psychologically take so much out of me.
When I have tried to tell him about how certain things he says bother me, he always just calls me "too sensitive" and I am so sick of that. Having viable feelings is not being "too sensitive." The last thing that I found so irksome was how he kept referring to my "shrink." I just hate that term. It seems so demeaning to what is a life-crushing illness to me. He has had to see many doctors recently and I wonder if I should call them "witch doctors" just to get him to see how it feels. Venting...