I'm sorry but I think at this point you are only contributing to your own unhappiness and feelings of being messed up. You already know he won't treat you well(he humiliates you.) I don't understand the obsession with being with a man that knowingly purposely hurts me. you already know he does not want to be your friend(he doesn't talk to you or add you as a friend on facebook) you know these things. I think He has made it quite clear his intentions. You've even already done the whole I'm not gonna look at him or worry about him. Keep that focus and frame of mind. It seems you are not happy pursuing someone that isn't interested. Why keep making youself miserable. I feel a little harsh and I don't like to be. Yet its up to you whether you want to keep putting yourself into situations that make you feel bad. Stand up for your own emotional health. We all need to do that. Making a consious effort to do what we need to do to get better.