it is SO hard to differentiate.

I think some of the stuff I have imagined comes from my desire to understand why I have that sense of 'something horrible happened'... but I wonder was the horrible thing just what I do remember? it doesn't seem like it would be.. and so I start wondering 'did this happen? or did that happen?' and it's all so very confusing.

I have these split second body memories - fear, tension, helplessness. but I don't know why. and because of *what* triggers the feelings, I really don't think that it's coming from the stuff I DO remember.

UGH.

hugs to you, violet. right there with you.