well..... ... I don't talk about it much, I find it a bit embarrassing to not have better insight and also, many here seem to be so intuned to what's going on inside themselves..... I fear saying something that would sound dumb.
..... it's just,

I often struggle with - if the voices are correct or not.(that's what I mean by-- "if only"-- if only I could truly feel they are not true) I heard the things they say in my head, from others when I was a child and was accused of being a horrible person when I'd not done anything bad-- some just needed a scapegoat or one to have control over and to vent their anger on a smaller being.
Since I've been working real hard in therapy-- seems the voices have been also putting in overtime to confuse and twist things around...... it's like the body is on a spinning top, so hard to see things clearly....
but I'm not giving up yet

hope that wasn't too long..... just hoped to explain it clearly.

again-- I think it's so so wonderful how much work you have accomplished for yourself

respectully,
fins