A sorta update about what happened in session. Still so many emotions and whatnot though to sort out but I've never been good about writing about them!

Had my very last appointment with my most awesome psychiatrist.

After six years in university, I'm no longer a student. I'm also no longer on antidepressants. So we ended our therapeutic relationship. No, I don't like it at all. The appointment was good as always though. First thing that was unusual, I actually decided to transfer out of my wheelchair into a "normal" chair. He seemed surprised about that although he knows I could do it. He told me some stories about things that have happened to him he thinks I can relate to, as well as anonymous stories sometimes about former clients. He always has the most useful things to say! I cried. We talked about my future and how far I've come in therapy and in the psychotherapy group he co-leads with a former counsellor of mine. I gave him the card I wrote for him. I'm still allowed to call him (he has a home office) but I doubt he'd ever respond unless necessary since he's that kind of person. Funny thing though - he lives in the neighbourhood of my church! But anyways, we talk about random things. I tell him I still have a "button" he made me in one of the groups - we were doing crafts. He made me something I can wear that says "Precious" (sort of like "Handle with Care", but he wanted to say something more than that I was just a bunch of breakable stuffs ). Why? That week I was assaulted by a guy and I suppose he just wanted to make me feel better. Mission accomplished! We talked about his reasons behind taking me off my antidepressants, which I agree with now that he spoke more about it. I do miss having them though because I miss being "happy", even if I seemed a bit out of it at times. Regardless, he did say that I could do whatever I wanted in the future. I may have to call him and ask for a referral to a mood disorders clinic though, because he's "diagnosed" me with dysthymia (form of depression) and says I have borderline personality disorder traits. The more I think about it, the more I realize he's probably right even if I hate the idea of having BPD. Cried more at random spots. Told him how much I'm going to miss having someone to talk to. We talked about "loss" and moving on. He made me smile a couple of times and laugh, just like he usually does. He asked me if I had any advice for HIM for the future. I couldn't think up anything at the time. I couldn't even think of how I wanted to be remembered, but he said he'd remember me by the first act I did in the appointment - I sat in a "regular" chair, like someone who isn't disabled and who is normal. Something I'm always striving to be, unusual as it may sound. It is unusual for me to switch chairs like that. I also mentioned a sharp & pointy object I gave to him once upon a time and told him I wouldn't ask for it back (he actually said he had hoped I wouldn't bring it up, wanting it back since I have asked before and I tend to go nuts). I told him not to remember me by that object though. I apparently get an "A" for progress in therapy! Yay me. (He asked me if I wanted a therapy grade, since I'm always striving to know how I'm doing in things lol). And then he shook my hand, and the meeting ended. I can still call him and leave him messages though which is nice. And who knows, I may decide to go back to school again at the same university before he retires.

(I think if I went back to university again he'd think I was waffling. He did say some people are perpetual students and that I can succeed academically, but if I'm in school forever I'll go nuts)