i am sick over this whole thing, the woman in germany, the woman hereis making me ill...she is doing things going through my personal things calling my friends...we have nothing for 5 years...why can she not leave me alone...i want to stay alone on my couch..i want no contact from her....she lives in fantasy world that we are still together...i have seperated myself from her for 5 years...why am i still here...i need to leave..i am sick....germany treated me badly....yet i still feel for her...i wish she would help me...she hates me...i hate myself...i hate my life...i hate to leave my couch..i an a sick man....i am losing to much weight..i donot want to eat i want to take the pills and leave...i hate myself all these years wasted for what..look where i am now...nowhere....void can't sleep much any more...tired so tired