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trueFaith · Aug 26, 2010, 05:03 AM

Hi fins,

Thank you for sharing this with me. I have read some of your threads and I can not see that you are different from anybody else here on forum. You definitely not sound dumb. It makes me sad that you think less of your self; that your self-image matches the one I had. You don’t see it yet but you have insights, although your perception of your self is not quite “right”. You are in touch with your feelings and you don’t justify them. It takes a lot to do that!

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I often struggle with - if the voices are correct or not.(that's what I mean by-- "if only"-- if only I could truly feel they are not true) I heard the things they say in my head, from others when I was a child and was accused of being a horrible person when I'd not done anything bad-- some just needed a scapegoat or one to have control over and to vent their anger on a smaller being.

It’s difficult to not believe in this voice. But we need to wean ourselves from our defences very gently, in tiny, tiny steps. The therapy process wake up lots of fear. It’s not easy to go back and back and back…The more I let myself mourn my loss in childhood, the more I like myself. The grieving evokes empathy for your inner child and thereby freeing you from the burden (the voice) that it was your fault that your parents treated you the way they did.

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Since I've been working real hard in therapy-- seems the voices have been also putting in overtime to confuse and twist things around...... it's like the body is on a spinning top, so hard to see things clearly
but I'm not giving up yet

For me, that indicates that you really are on the right track. Because when you are, the voice screams even louder.

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again-- I think it's so so wonderful how much work you have accomplished for yourself.

You are so sweet! Go on exactly as you do and you will soon be there too! And your post was not long and you explained it in an excellent way!

Good luck and hugs to you!