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Jennie said:
Most of the time I realize my breaking point is around the corner. But, once I had a psychotic episode (from stupid psych docs prescribing me too many meds) and everything changed. I'll say now . . . I don't have a clue what will set me off. Something horrible can happen and I'll manage fine. Something unimportant may cause me to flip out. Who understands my psyche?

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I find that I can hold things in for a very long time, even big things, and they build up and build up and I think I'm handling it just fine, and I look to everyone else like I'm doing just fine, but suddenly one more thing comes along - maybe a big thing, maybe a little thing - and it's just too much and I break down. I don't see it coming because I thought I was managing okay. Part of this is because the part of me that "handles things" doesn't communicate with the part that "feels things." It reminds me of those kinds of games where you keep pulling out one stick at a time, or stacking them, or adding marbles to the pot, etc., and you know that eventually it's going to blow up, but you have no idea when or who it's going to blow up on. I guess if it's your life that we're talking about, the answer would be to stop playing those games that you know are going to set things up so that they will eventually explode. Or in other words deal with each thing as it comes up and don't bottle feelings up inside. It's easier said than done though.