Thanks all of you...echoes, rapunzel, rohag, billie, bugsy, lynnp,

Thanks for your replies. But as much as I would like to be around in general, I dont think I can start over AGAIN....Im just done struggling. I feel like most of my life has been a struggle as Im sure everybodys is...

Thing is....I just think my husband deserves better than hes getting. I dont feel im helping this situation. and Im falling deeper down right now. It has taken a lot for me to even show up for work.

I worked for this house.....in a bad way. it was my parents house and my brother was always "there". My parents made me feel insignificant here. but with my husband it became a home after they died. So the good memories that replaced the bad are now taken away. where does that leave me.

I have nothing......