Speak to the woman you live with - you and she need to decide to either work on your relationship or you need to plan to move out but not right now. All you have to do is get yourself stronger and stop thinking about these problems with these women. Tell the lady you're with that you're depressed. Are you on medication or have you seen a doctor for your emotional issues? Remember what I said before - you can solve major problems when you're weak and sick. You can't lay on the couch and wallow in this way. Go to your general doctor .....can you do that???